For Immediate Release: August 18, 2021
Contact: Ryan Hite, Communications Director
Spox Says They Will “Proactively Enforce” Rules Against “Glorification of Violence”
Washington, D.C.: “Twitter was once the fast-paced hub of activity on the internet,” said Ed Martin, president of Phyllis Schlafly Eagles, “But the the platform is quickly dying as their blatant political censorship is taking a horrific turn to utter insanity.”
In a statement for which any satire writer would get a raise, Twitter indicated that Taliban spokesmen can remain on the platform as long as they “obey the rules” of no “glorification of violence.”
“You might remember,” Martin continued, “that so-called glorification of violence got Donald Trump suspended from Twitter — a ban that remains in effect now. What did he say? That his 75,000,000 voters will have a powerful voice long into the future, and that he would not attend Biden’s inauguration. Twitter’s logical leaps and context concoctions around Trump’s ban reek of political brute force, but their tolerance of Taliban leaders is downright sickening.
“Taliban forces are actively executing Afghanis in the streets, and the disgusting video evidence is abounding. Twitter may be able to ignore these horrific videos, but Americans are seeing them every day. Rest assured, though — Twitter says their ‘top priority is keeping people safe. We remain vigilant.’
“Big Tech thinks they are the ultimate arbiters of truth and expression. It’s time to shut them down. Every single Twitter investor, adviser, employee, and user needs to speak up and stop these atrocious double standards.”