For Immediate Release: July 23, 2021
Contact: Ryan Hite, Communications Director
Washington, D.C.: “Thanks to CNN, I can end your week with a chuckle,” Phyllis Schlafly Eagles president Ed Martin said. “CNN announced a new streaming service they plan to debut next year, and their announcement press release laid it on pretty thick. The Babylon Bee must be proud!”
The CNN+ streaming service rollout would seemingly have us believe that CNN literally invented news itself. Perhaps an even greater lack of self-awareness was CNN’s digital officer Andrew Morse proclaiming on a podcast that liberals “don’t seek out CNN.” The new CNN+ service, he said, “is not going to be ideological. We’re just not in that game. We’re not an opinion network, we’re a news network.” Phyllis Schlafly would surely have a quip about protesting too much.
Martin concluded, “As a former CNN contributor, let me say unequivocally, when the cameras are off (or on, for that matter), not a single person there believes what they’re doing is reporting news. They are driving an ideology, a narrative, a dogma, and they expect us to buy it. Some of them may believe the narrative too, but not one person at CNN believes their job is anything other than shaping people’s opinion.”
Having no better way to close, we will let the CNN+ announcement speak for itself: “[This] subscription service will provide new experience for CNN superfans, news junkies, and fans of quality non-fiction.” (Yes, they are serious.)